At least you're not getting peed on

I’m always amazed by the Internet for publicly showing people’s lowest life aspirations.

Without the Internet, I wouldn’t know about furries, or, you know, men who like to get peed on.

But here I am with THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY! Seeing people complain about having to use birth control on Twitter, or having sexual deviancy make VICE news articles.

Because of VICE, I now know about what can only be referred to in the article as a “piss dungeon.”

“Every once in a while you hear a story of human sexual deviance so extremely left of center that it literally blows your mind,” Robert Kay said in his VICE article, “Deep Inside the Chain Pub Piss Dungeon.”

This was one of those times. See, a man went to go to use the urinal in a pub, something relatively normal in today’s society. Except when he was peeing, he saw an eye.

My first reaction to this, much like my friend’s, was that someone was missing an eyeball. The story gets progressively worse though, as not only is an eye seen peeking out, but an eyebrow as well.

After getting the barkeep, they end up searching around the bathroom, finding a door leading to a man drenched in pee. The man ran out, exclaiming, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

Inside was some sort of makeshift dungeon built for a man to sit and receive golden showers. The pictures in the article show scenes from either some of the worst nightmares imaginable, or the most horrible snuff films ever made.

Normally I don’t even use the word “pee,” let alone talk about a man getting peed on, but the article made me feel a million times better about life after I read it. I mean really, aside from rape and murder, what’s worse than that?

This man isn’t even going to the pub to drown his week’s sorrows in alcohol. He’s going to get everyone else’s splashed onto his face. No matter what kind of negativity you’re swimming in, it’s pretty hard for that not to put things into perspective.

Yeah, you might work at Burger King or McDonald’s, but at least you’re not the guy who likes to get peed on. I hope.

No matter how difficult our lives may get, no poor test score or high gasoline price can ever measure up to being drenched in another man’s urine.

To read Robert Kay’s VICE article, “Deep Inside the Chain Pub Piss Dungeon,” visit http://www.vice.com/read/deep-inside-the-chain-pub-piss-dungeon