Move, please

This is not a sidewalk. This is not a boardwalk. We are not at the beach, so please walk faster.

Every day I am constantly in battle with hallway trolls as I make my way to class. Who are the hallway trolls? These are the people who insist on taking up the entire vicinity of the hallway as they make their way to class. I have dealt with this in middle school and high school, and I thought college would be different, but it is not. It seems as if it has gotten worse throughout the years. The groups of people have grown larger and slower as I have proceeded through my educational years.

I get it; you have not seen so and so in ages. It is a “free” country and you can walk however you want. I can take myself outside. These are all true. But the quickest way to my class is by walking inside, not outside. You could also step aside when I say “excuse me.”  Just scoot over two centimeters for two seconds. It is not that hard. You do not own the hallway. I do not see “Queen/King of the Hallway” on your person. I know your story about the crazy party you had over the weekend is a life or death tale, but you need to move, please.

Oh great, now you have stopped right in front of me. This is great. Stopping is the complete opposite of what I wanted you to do. Now we are dancing: I go left, you go left. I go right, you go right. Have you been taking lessons?  I say “excuse me” again and you finally hear me, or I thought you did. You simply start back up and move even slower this time. I think you even glanced back and saw how anxious I was to get around you. Do you even go to this college? I’m just wondering, because it seems as though you have no intention of actually getting anywhere in a timely manner.

Finally, you have parted ways with your buddy and now I can get around you. I swiftly make my way past your clutches and blast toward my classroom. Completely winded, I sit down looking like I just ran a 5k. I check my phone, and to no surprise I realize the professor is late. The hallway trolls have struck again, and have not shown me any mercy. They wear their imaginary sashes and crowns proudly as they parade up and down the hallways, very, very slowly.