2008 Woodie Awards
Rock, paper, scissors would solve world problems
By: Caitlin Ryder
Issue date: 1/22/07 Section: Opinion
Today the United States finds itself in the midst of a "war on terrorism." My suggestion: our government needs to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to settle the ordeal. In fact, I believe the adaptable game should be used to settle all national conflicts.
Should the United States send more troops to Iraq? The ultimately democratic way of deciding is by a contest of utter chance. RPS is that contest.
Matt Dudzik and PUC Intramurals have hit the nail right on the head with their recent decision to offer the game to PUC students. This could be the start of a new wave of peace on campus and earth.
George W. Bush wouldn't even have to worry his little head about Iraqi insurgents. Just one, two, three shoot and the decision on whether or not to pull U.S. troops from the Middle East would be discovered by itself.
The great thing is, it doesn't end with the U.S. army overseas. What about abortion and gay marriage? The country is very much torn on these issues regarding federal and state law. After a few quick games of rock, paper, scissors each state could have its statutes written with no questions asked.
What about the issue with U.S. borders and immigration? Why not put up a series of RPS booths for immigrants to challenge U.S. officials for entry into the country? The number of immigrants residing in the United States would always be fair and consistent.
There will not be any more problems with miscounting votes or the Electoral College, presidential candidates could be chosen by a giant RPS tournament. No one will be cheated by this means of election.
In the end, checks and balances won't even be necessary. The democracy of RPS is one which is unparalleled with any government in the history of mankind. Politicians could solve any world, national or domestic issue without even having to waste any double-speak on U.S. citizens.
Should the United States send more troops to Iraq? The ultimately democratic way of deciding is by a contest of utter chance. RPS is that contest.
Matt Dudzik and PUC Intramurals have hit the nail right on the head with their recent decision to offer the game to PUC students. This could be the start of a new wave of peace on campus and earth.
George W. Bush wouldn't even have to worry his little head about Iraqi insurgents. Just one, two, three shoot and the decision on whether or not to pull U.S. troops from the Middle East would be discovered by itself.
The great thing is, it doesn't end with the U.S. army overseas. What about abortion and gay marriage? The country is very much torn on these issues regarding federal and state law. After a few quick games of rock, paper, scissors each state could have its statutes written with no questions asked.
What about the issue with U.S. borders and immigration? Why not put up a series of RPS booths for immigrants to challenge U.S. officials for entry into the country? The number of immigrants residing in the United States would always be fair and consistent.
There will not be any more problems with miscounting votes or the Electoral College, presidential candidates could be chosen by a giant RPS tournament. No one will be cheated by this means of election.
In the end, checks and balances won't even be necessary. The democracy of RPS is one which is unparalleled with any government in the history of mankind. Politicians could solve any world, national or domestic issue without even having to waste any double-speak on U.S. citizens.
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